Go Greyhound!

There’s so many ways to travel
from point A to Point B
but theres a mode of transport
that just wasn’t meant for me
Been on it 3 or 4 times
Because I was out of luck
But I’ll never ride greyhound again
Greyhound can go get fucked

Sitting next to homeless guys
ain’t my cup of tea
pissing in a dirty bathrrom
never getting sleep
2 days on the fuckin road
old burrito in my gut
how’d I end up on this bus
sitting on my butt

staring out the greyhound window
knowing I have hit the bottom
drinking whiskey, popping pills…
problems? yeah, I got ‘em
next time I’ll save money
for a plane, a car, a train
fuck greyhound and fuck the bus
I got nothin’ but complaints

Smokin’ in the boys room. (a brief conversation about bathroom etiquette)

There is so many things I trip out on about life. So many things involved with society, people, social situations, etc, that I quietly observe (and laugh about).

I mean think about it….everything from sporting events, to airplanes, to waiting rooms, etc, there is total strangers with totally different personalities, clustered together for different reasons or circumstances, and it’s fun sometimes just to take a step back, observe it, and write about, this bizarre experience we call ‘life’.

One of the subjects about this experiment called society is the public restroom. I mean this is a place where complete strangers pile in the same room, and perform what is certainly the most private of actions (well, depending on you are, I guess). This is a place that has it’s rules and regulations, unwritten of course, and are not to be broken. These rules were never written by anybody, they just merely came about by the instincts, and human condition of man, and thus, pretty much come naturally to apply and enforce. Also, sorry ladies, I can only speak for the male bathrooms. or hombres. or muchachos. or men. or ‘dudes’. or whatever other creative term for guys, a business will put on the bathroom door. I do not know what sort of conditions apply to the female restrooms, but I’d be interested to know (not in a creepy way), therefore, this blog is for the mens room only.

These rules are in no particular order.

#1 “Musical Urinals”. Probably the most common. When I walk into a bathroom, let’s say, at the airport, and there are multiple urinals, I don’t just go to any one randomly. There is a process. If there is one guy at one (usually the first guy will go to the farthest one on either side) I will go to the opposite side urinal, thus, placing me as far away from that guy as possible. I don’t, by ANY means go to the urinal RIGHT next to him. This is breaking the rule. It immediately places me on creepy or ‘gay’ status. If I walk in, and there is a person on each farthest side urinal, I go to the one directly in the middle, again placing as much space as possible between urinal patrons. Now obviously, circumstances vary, depending on amount of urinals, and amount of people in said restroom, but you get the drift.

#2 “the cough”. This is one that is not necessarily mandatory, but it is one that I abide by, and I have noticed alot of other people abide by too. If I go to a particular restroom, with the intent on taking a ‘growler’ aka #2, and there is one stall and one stall only, I do ‘the cough’. Basically, here’s the situation…I’m in the bathroom, by myself, doing my business in the stall, and I hear the main bathroom door open. I don’t know if this person needs to use the stall himself, so I let out a false ‘cough’ to let him know that the stall is currently occupied. This let’s him know, without having to have an awkward conversation with him, that I’ll be in here for a couple minutes, so if you need to poop, don’t come in. I know other guys do it too, because I’ve walked into public restrooms, and have heard the same exact cough, and that alerts me to the status of the stall, and I like that. It’s respect. (or insecurity)

#3 “The Trough”. Usually troughs are at large sports stadiums, or concert stadiums. Troughs have always seemed to me like such a primitive thing to have in such a modern facility. Like the owners of the place can spend billions of dollars on this monstrous, modern building, full of million dollar Hi-Def Tvs, but can’t sport a couple more scheckels to build urinals. For those not in the know, A trough is a huge, long, stainless steel ‘tub’,like one big long urinal, with water flowing through it, that people have to piss in at the same time. The trough should almost be it’s own sub category with it’s own rules, but I’ll keep this simple. It’s pretty obvious. You’re basically side by side with complete strangers, urinating.  Keep your eyes focused completely on the wall in front of you. Stay focused. Don’t quickly shift your eyes at all in any direction. Don’t make conversation unless it’s like, your blood brother or something, but even then…..probably just best not too.Be efficient with the ‘shaking’ and zipping up process too. Don’t draw it out for too long, because it’ll look creepy. Comprende?

#4 “The Bodyguard” Sometimes, mainly at dive bars, it’s a tiny little bathroom, with a stall with NO DOOR.  This completely sux, especially if you’re a ‘private pooper’ type, so if you have any friends with you, just have them stand outside the bathroom, telling people who want to come in, it’ll be a minute. If you’re not a private pooper, just hope that the smell will drive any potential bathroom goers away from your privacy bubble. This particular isn’t exactly a ‘rule’ but it’s a good piece of advice if you frequent dive bars alot. I’ve had to it, I know.

#5 “flush foil” Nothing grosses me out more then when I’m in an airport bathroom, and there’s some greasy dude in a stall making all kinds of gastric noises, grunts, etc. Please people, if you know you’re gonna bust out some crazy flatulation while you’re in a stall, do what I do….flush the toilet a second before you let it out. or do the ‘cough’. No one wants to know your business. Even if I do hear your fart over the flushing, I know you tried to cover it up, and that shows respect.

I have a few more, but I can’t remember them right now, because I gotta go to the bathroom. Donchya love how I end all of my blogs with a pseudo ironic statement? Tom

Why I like Ron Paul. And why it doesn’t matter.

I told myself  I’d stay away from the normal political banter that so many ‘blogs’ produce. Americans in general are so overwelming bludgeoned by politics daily via TV, the internet, radio, etc. Although I don’t have too many viewers of my site (yet. hopefully.), I wanted to keep my little pocket of the blogosphere free from the enlarged monstrosity that is American politics, and just write stupid, angry, funny rants about everyday stuff people can relate to. Or music related stuff and reviews. However I’m bored, and I just wanted to let anyone who cares, know where I stand, kind of. And then I will forever shut my mouth (or my typing fingers) about this particular subject.

   Do you ever have that feeling, that most, if not all politicians are just ALL the fucking same? Even though you might agree with a particular candidates stance or policies, you just know, deep down, that they’re full of shit no matter which end of the spectrum you stand (or which one they stand ). These people get paid, by US, to take care of shit, whether it be financially, legislative-ly (yes, new word),  judicially, etc etc. And everything is all Fucked up. The economy, foreign policy, the justice system, etc.This is their job, to run our country efficiently, and all they do is bicker with each other, and toy with millions of people’s lives like it’s a boardgame.  They act like they’re more important then us, that they have all this ‘power’, that they’re our ‘leaders’, etc. What they don’t understand is….WE ARE THEIR BOSS.

     I consider myself right wing. Libertarian/conservative/constitutionalist type person. But I hate labels, so whatever. From time to time I check in on the beginning of this election for 2012. The candidates. It’s like watching a reality show in the twilight zone.  So far, this particular political blog of mine might be kind of all over the place, and rant-y. I don’t give a shit. You guys know exactly where I’m coming from. Anyways, Let’s break down these potential candidates, shall we?

Republicans:

Mitt Romney: Probably the #1 contender so far. What words come to mind when I think of this gentleman?

Vanilla. Milktoast. Establishment Republican. Used Car Salesman. Flip floppin flip fuck.He’s probably number one because he’s a safe, pristine type guy with ‘maybe’ a chance to beat the incumbent.  What kind of pathetic cowardly value-less logic is that?

Michelle Bachmann: She’s a tax lawyer. Do we really need lawyers running this shit? I was open to her at first, but every single interview I ever heard from her, she said the same lines and keywords, which tells me she’s fake as shit, and has no REAL content or substance. I heard her on hannity. Rush. Various Newstations. She repeatedly said all the same stuff over and over like she had a little cheat sheet in her hand she read off of. I definitely don’t agree with some of her foreign aid/foreign policy beliefs, either.

Herman Cain: CEO of Godfather’s Pizza. Ever had Godfather’s Pizza? I don’t want a guy who runs a company that uses horrible ingredients, makes horrible product, and has shotty service to be the same guy that runs the free world?

Newt: Fortuneately, he’s done. hypocritical establishment RINO.

Tim Pawlenty: He’s too nice, and too average. We need somebody with conviction, and fucking BALLS. He just tells people what they wanna hear.

There’s a couple more, but who cares about them, too.

Dems.

I doubt anyone will run against the President. so….

Barack Obama-3 wars. Over spending. High unemployment. Lower credit rating. Tax Tax Tax. Stock Markets crashing. America, what were you thinking?

There is one guy though, who actually practices what he preaches. Says what he does. Knows what HAS to be done. Does what’s right for America, not what’s right for his voting polls.

Pull out from wars. Cut Foreign Aid. Lower Taxes.Make America a more comfortable place to do business.Make America a more sovereign, powerful Independent country, instead of this imperialistic, nation building empire.

But to do the right thing, abide by the constitution, and turn the U.S. back into what it should be, you have to disrupt the machine. And the machine doesn’t like that. Ron Paul has my vote. But the press, and the political powers-that-be won’t give him a chance, even though he wins most strawpolls, and garners some of the most donations and campaign money. So it doesn’t matter. We just have to sit back and watch while all these pretentious assholes put on these dog and pony shows. I’m Tom, and I approve this message.

Free! Drivers Licenses!

They must be handing them out like fucking CANDY out here in the upper midwest……Driver’s Licenses, I mean.

Where  in the fuckin’ training manual does it say to drive 35 mph in the fast lane when it’s not bumper to bumper traffic?? Where in the manual does it say to drive 39 mph right next to the guy driving 35 mph, thus, forming a fucking wall? There’s either some really good weed up here, really lax d.u.i. laws, or the people are just blatantly retarded.

I hate the fact that when I wanna switch lanes because the shithead in front of me is driving like a 200 year old lady, the guy in the lane that I wanna get into will speed up so I can’t switch lanes. What does that accomplish…? Do you OWN that fucking lane? You know what it accomplishes now? Me going out of my way to make the rest of your commute a living, violent hell. I will cut you off, do a circle, and cut you off AGAIN. And flip you off. And any other thing that people with road rage like me do.

When I’m driving to work, which takes 90-120 minutes, I believe in efficiency. The kind of efficiency that means going at lease 5-10 mph over the speed limit. The kind that means fast guys in the fast lane, and others in the other lane. The kind of efficiency that says: “I know where I’m going, and I want to get there fast, so stay off my highway”. Yeah that’s right. My highway. Tom Harris memorial fuckin freeway/interchange/off ramp.

I learned to drive on the Highways and Bi-ways of southern California. The 405. The 5. The 605. The 710. The 55. The 91. The 60.Freeways that, when traffic’s bad, traffic’s BAD. But it’s only bad because there’s just too many people. As soon as it simmers down, people know where they wanna go, and they get there fast.Not up here for some reason.Here, the clock hasn’t been invented yet.Here, people think of driving like chess: Each move has to take time, be thought out, and have no remorse for you opponent. I think of it like going to the grocery store:  Get in there, know what you want, handle your shit, and get to where you’re going.

And what’s with Johnny law here? I think I have a g.p.s. locator chip implanted in my neck or something. No matter where I go here, I see a cluster of marauding state troopers just waiting to throw the berries on and make their quota.I was quite happy with myself though, the other day…….I was speeding, and zipped right past a trooper, who looked right into my eyes as I drove boy, set his radar down, and gave me a ‘you’re fucked’ nod with his head. I had 2 choices. Slow down, start pulling over to the side, submit and comply, and then bend over to take it popcorn dry. Or, Put the hammer down, head for the exit and hideout for a couple seconds behind the gas station, which I knew was right there. What do you think ol’World half empty did?………So remember folks, buckle up, sit down, and hold on. And stuff.

Let’s start a cover band! and stuff.

Everytime I go thru the local craigslist ads in the musicians section to maybe find a 80′s type hardcore punk band to jam with, all I find up here in the midwest is ads for cover bands. And not cover bands for 80′s hardcore punk. Usually it’s for like classic rock stuff or your local ‘hardrock/metal’ station type covers. And you know what? I just don’t FUCKING get it. Not that that music isn’t cool or anything.

I could understand if there was an occasional ad for a cover band every once in awhile, as it does have it’s place in a certain demographic of bar scenes. But we’re talkin’ like every other fucking posting.To me, this just says a couple things about the current state of music, the current state of the midwest, and the current state of the bar scenes.

For one, it just kind of goes to show that a majority of people have NO originality. Play your own shit for christ’s sake. If I wanna hear Good times, Bad times by Led Zeppelin, I’ll just put on the cd/record. I don’t wanna hear your fucked up, sucky piece of shit version.This not only goes for the band either. Since there is so many people wanting to play in these things, there must be an audience for it?! So that tells me there’s a ton of people out there that ENJOY listening to Brad Wilson’s version of Sunshine of your love, or Jerry Zapinsky’s version of Iron Man. I mean FUCK, really??

And to these people playing the covers, do they not have any original songs written, they don’t have the innovation or ingenuity to write their own lyrics? Riffs? Bridges or refrains? Or do they just want the few hundred bucks they could make from the shitty biker bar on a saturday night playing horrible journey songs. Is it about the “money”? Is this what he current state of your average local music scene has become? A bunch of mediocre musicians playing other people’s songs for just enough money to cover their gas to get there and maybe a couple beers, to an audience who has absolutely no taste for music, they just want some ‘catchy’ background noise while they suck down their cheap American lager and try to hit on a member of the opposite sex who probably has an even worse sense of taste in music

This whole thing just confirms my assumptions of the majority (90-99%) of the human race. No soul. No originality. No taste.

Then again, Mick Jagger once said “I know, it’s only Rock’n'roll…..but I like it”. Hey we should start a band, and cover that.

Casey Anthony’s face.

Here’s a fuckin stupid little punk diddy I wrote outta boredom. Dedicated to that child killer Casey Anthony

“Casey Anthony’s face”

We all know you killed your daughter
Now it’s your time to get slaughtered
Point blank in your eyes with mace
Point blank in Casey Anthony’s face

Jury let you off Scot-free
Final verdict-not guilty
I know that that’s not the case
Time to scar up Casey Anthony’s face

Propane torches, baths of bleach
I can’t hear your painful screech
Torture you with style and grace
melt skin off Casey Anthony’s face

And when I’m done, I’ll act like you
I’ll go out partying…..Casey who…?
Your remains burned without a trace
No more Casey Anthony’s face!

Vay Kay

Hello folks-I’m currently on vacation with my family right now and won’t be on here for a coupla’ days. check back soon in few days for more reviews and other shit. I hope you’re enjoying your summer….and stuff. Tommy

Dead Empty “Going Down” 7″ cyclone records

I dig these guys. They’re another 77′ style, streetpunk type band. I picked it up for a buck in the bargain bin of the local record warehouse (cheapo in mpls). Honestly though, I thought it was gonna SUCK. The cover is kind of lame. I mean, look at it. Cheesy font. Cheesy ass skull with cheesy flames and horns. Like a 16 year olds first tattoo or something. The band picture on the back is no better. The guys kind of look lame and poser-ish. I know. I’m a dick.Sometimes image matters to me though when I’m buying a record. Even if it is a dollar. You know what though? These guys fuckin proved me wrong, and more power to ‘em for doing it. This is great, catchy rock and fuckin roll. Drumming is top notch. Vocals are awesome and convey quite a bit of whatever emotion he’s trying to convey.Get this one if you can, I think you’ll like it.Best song on here is definitely ‘Nothing’. I don’t know how to keep on describing this band, other then it’s just good mid tempo upbeat American punkrock. Sometimes, that’s all ya need. I give this one an 8.5

The Dirty Politicians “New Age” 7″ Murder & Mayhem Records.

My apologies for there not being a picture of this record up, as my scanner is broken, and now matter how fuckin hard I googled there name I couldn’t find an image of the cover. No biggie.

This vinyl is ok.I would definitely classify it as ‘streetpunk’ or 77 style type stuff. Mostly mid tempo type stuff here, but it does get into the ‘boom tick’ type drumming that I love so much.Instead of the average vocals of yelling, screaming, whining, screeching or whatever other word I could pull from a thesaurus, this dude actually sings.And he sings pretty good. There’s plenty of ‘whoas’ and catchy backup vocals as well. The instrumentals are definitely streetpunkish with decent , ‘catchy’ type guitarwork, pretty tight solid rancid type drumming.The description of them I found online was “These guys wear alot of Blanks 77 shirts in all their pictures” or something like that. So there ya go…..They’re definitely from the Blanks/Rancid/LimeCell/Lower class brats school of punk. Which is fine by me. Definitely something to listen too, not when you wanna get amped up, not when you’re pissed, but when you’re just kickin back, havin a beer with your friends, or writing in your blog  I give this one a 7 too.

Suburaban Refugee “Kill, Fight, Destroy” 7″ Beer City Records. distro:profane existence

Songs

Side A: 1.Mistake 2.Fuck P.C. Fascism 3.Infested

Side B: 1.Desecrate 2.Divided 3.Beer City Mike Rocks

As a fan of hardcore (if you are one), these songs should tell you that this 7″ is  pretty cool. It is. Pretty solid e.p. I guess. very pissed, very punk. It does kind of have a metalish/crust edge standard of profane existence type stuff, which sometimes I’m not fond of, but it works for me.

This was one of those records I forgot about in my collection. So today, I logged on to this blog, wanted to review something (out of boredom) and just threw this on  the record player.

It’s Beer City Records so you usually can’t go wrong (like I said in an earlier post).Favorite song on this probably is Mistake. These songs go kinda like this….solid hardcore riff (eastcoast  sxe kind of riffs)..sometimes a ‘solo’ rockin bassline..mid-fast tempo drums…with an occasional east coast type breakdown thrown in sporatically in the songs. Dudes’ got a pretty shreddin voice. Some of it kind of reminds me of Uniform choice. Some of it kind of reminds me of -insert NYHC band here.Pretty kickbutt Edge stuff.

Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

Mistake

I am driven by my regret and the hope of redemption

I see my enemies prosper at the hand of my destruction

I will grow stronger through their mistakes

They will choose the path that I do not choose to go through

and Im not the only one

I’m not the only one

I’m not the only one who feels this way

I must not feed regret and my other harmful emotions

because the end result is those motherfuckers get what they deserve

I will grow stronger through their mistakes

HalfEmpty rating: 7/10